Unbelievable Confirmation

Picture it:
Our little girl goes off to preschool and, for the first time in our parenting lives, we are sitting in a parent-teacher conference. Expectations are high that the report will be full of rave reviews on the intelligence and kindness of our daughter. What we get instead is a frustrating account of all the things Katey is falling short in. At first I wanted to cry (all my hopes dashed) but later had to laugh. Did it really matter if our 4 year old refused to hold a pencil correctly or just could not get the hang of how to use a pair of scissors or insisted on being the caboose in line?

Since then, teacher conferences have been much the same. We are told over and over that Katey is a very smart and kind child who: refuses to sit and write; doesn't add enough detail to drawings; won't participate in book club discussions...just to name a few. The teachers seem to love her and be frustrated with her all at the same time. We've gone through this no less than a dozen times since Katey began school.

Two weeks ago I answered a phone call. Katey's teacher wanted to talk with me for a few minutes and I was gearing up for the bad news. What I got, instead, was a wonderful report! Since going on medication, Katey is sitting and doing her work, her handwriting has improved, she is participating in class discussions and she is listening to instruction! I almost cried with joy and relief. Unbelievable confirmation that we are on the right track!!

ADHD

It has been several months now since Katey was diagnosed with ADHD. Our pediatrician made the very (un)helpful, "I think I am comfortable saying that she most likely has ADHD, Inattentive type" diagnosis (??). And, pretty much, that was where his helpfulness ended. So, after several months of working with the school and doing internet research, we headed to a Behavioral Pediatrician who, thankfully, has been much more helpful!

Mike and I have been wrestling with our thoughts on ADHD and medication. I have strong feelings regarding the seemingly over-diagnoses and haste to throw kids on Ritalin in the 1990's. So, to have a child be diagnosed with the same disorder and be faced with medication choices was rather difficult.

What we have come to find is that there is little effective help apart from prescriptions. We did read a very interesting book or two on the Executive Functions of the brain. There was even a quiz to discover which areas of executive thinking/executive skills one is weak in and which he is strong in. So, we took the quiz - once for Katey, once for Mike and once for me. The results?

Strengths:

Katey - Goal-Directed Persistence (have a goal and follow-thru); Planning Prioritizing; Response Inhibition (think before act)
Mike - Metacognition (take a birds-eye view of self to problem solve); Time Management; Response Inhibition
Jen - Working Memory (hold info in memory and complete complex tasks); Time Management; Flexibility

Weaknesses:

Katey - Task Initiation (begin a task without procrastination); Organization; Working Memory
Mike - Task Initiation (begin a task without procrastination); Organization; Working Memory
Jen - Task Initiation (begin a task without procrastination); Goal-directed Persistence; Metacognition

I think they are pretty telling. Yup, Katey is definitely her father's daughter.

The books did give some tips on how to help develop these skills, though it is pretty much with a lot of repetition and time and lists and charts. That takes a lot of task initiation...and as you can see from above, our family seems to be lacking in that. :-)

So, after working with teachers and school staff, setting timers to help Katey stay on task, making lists to help her remember what needs done and when, and reading lots of helpful information, Mike and I decided to try medication. And, after spending about an hour talking this over with the doctor, he really did help to dispel some of our concerns.

We are now officially on week 1 of Focalin XR. We are thankful that our doctor wants to start on super low doses and work up as needed. There is already a noticeable difference in Katey's focus and concentration skills. She is looking us in the eye when we talk, has had good behavior reports from school for 3 days in a row, and one of our good friends pointed out that the flow of her speech has also improved. Mike and I are very hopeful that this has been a good decision and we look forward to seeing Katey come out of her focal fog!